Try a toy material that is polished smooth such as gemstones, glass, metal or wood. You can tear your anus if you use a certain position that allows for more penetration before you're ready, and Taormino points out that the missionary position allows for the least clitoral stimulation and suggests receiver-on-top for beginners. We are bombarded with hard-core anal penetration images and most assume that it is the only way to have anal sex.
If using your fingers while also controlling your pace as you thrust can be too much multitasking for you, you can opt to use vibrators--especially the ones that have a remote control function. I know it's obvious, but some people totally forget about this. Finding the right lube to use may prove to be a bit tricky.
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Give yourself a very gentle wash with some lukewarm water.